By: Monique Myers – SuccessfullyHome

Being coachable – what does that mean?

As I am re-launching my business, I had to do some soul-searching and think about what I can do differently this time around to highly increase my chance of success; I really don’t want to repeat the past yet another time!

Based on past experiences and reflection, I have not been as coachable as I would like to be. Often, I would listen to the advice and suggestions, and, instead of acting on it, let my habits run the show, do my own thing, and just not heed what was offered to help me. It wasn’t that I thought I knew better, I just didn’t know how to change my habitual way of thinking and doing things – even though they didn’t bring me the success I was hoping for.

So, after years of trial and mostly error, I finally came to the point that I knew I had to do something about that and be willing to take an honest look at the cause: my very own paradigm.

I began studying with Mary Morrisey (Dream Builder Program), Bob Proctor (1-year Coaching Program), Zen DeBrucke (The Re-Creating You Game and other programs), Dr. Joe Dispenza (Breaking the Habit of Being You) and many others.  I have done a lot of studying, reading, meditating, exploring, and changing my ways of doing things and thinking.

Still, I really felt I needed to take a good look at what it means to be coachable. You learn best by teaching, so that’s why I am sharing what I learned and, hopefully, it will help someone else too.

So, what are some qualities you need to be coachable:

Dave Anderson, Digital Dealer, says this: “Coachability is about demonstrating the willingness to be corrected, and to act on that correction. Coachable people are prepared to be wrong and withstand—even welcome—high degrees of candor concerning their performance with the goal of improving it. As a result, coachable people are able to grow to levels that life’s “know-it-all’s” never experience.”

Of course, the most important thing we need to consider is “What do I want” and “Am I capable of getting there on my own?” I used to think I could. I didn’t want to bother my mentors with my questions, I didn’t think they would suggest anything other than what I would do anyway. In other words, I wasn’t the person that thought my mentor’s ideas were wrong or ‘stupid’, I just assumed I knew the answers, and didn’t even ask. I didn’t know I didn’t know.

1. So, in my opinion -and please correct me if I am wrong- the first quality is a willingness to take a step back, realize you don’t know it all, and allow someone else to teach you.
2. Second, be open to receiving the feedback. It is so easy to just go with our very first (habitual) response and be closed, hurt, offended, or just unwilling to really hear what is being offered. Of course, not all feedback is valid, but consider it, and decide whether this feedback is helpful. Does the person offering it have some knowledge and insight you lack? Are they more successful than you? Do they have your best interest at heart? Know, that if you really feel hurt there probably is some program running, some part of your ego that thinks it knows better. Receive, weigh it, then decide.
3. When you decide the coaching or feedback is valid and will help you move forward, put it into action. It will feel weird, even uncomfortable, at first. You may keep falling back into old habits and keep doing things the way you always have, be patient with yourself and keep trying. I have sticky notes in different places to remind me what I am working on, what I want to change. Our paradigms are strong and not readily willing to give up control. Repetition is key. Write out some affirmations and repeat them often.
4. And finally, be proactive and seek out feedback, don’t just sit around waiting for it. This attitude takes your coach-ability to a higher level and can absolutely accelerate your growth. Ask questions like:

• “What do you suggest I do to improve performance?”
• “Where do you see that I’ve gotten off track?”
• “How can I make this even better than it is?”
• “What can I do to have a more positive impact on teammates?”
• “Where have I developed blind-spots that I need to fix?”